Wednesday, November 21, 2012

MOVIE 43



Recommend: I'm afraid so

     I seem to be in danger of ruining my "snob" moniker because I keep liking so many trailers.  I promise I will sniff out some stinkers for the next few posts, but this one had to be commented on because it's rare to find a comedy trailer that is actually funny. I mean, did you see the Nature Calls trailer?  For shit sake, this one is thirty to forty times better. 
     Right off the bat we've got F-bombs and boobies in the actual trailer.  Nicely played! Some folks are going to be put off by that but those folks' butts will never get anywhere near a theater showing this flick. It reminds me a little of the classic Kentucky Fried Movie, in that it's just plain dirty, and it seems to be following a bunch of unrelated characters and probably will not add up to much when the credits roll at the end.  But there is a place for these types of films. Do I think Airplane! is as good a movie as Defending Your Life or Annie Hall, or Groundhog Day (the last three being films that are devastatingly hilarious but also teach useful life lessons)?  Not exactly, but Airplane! sure as shit is just as funny or funnier than those others.
     Looking at the credits I do see a bakers dozen or so screenwriters and directors so that tells me this is gonna be a bunch of unrelated material, again, a bit like Kentucky Fried Movie.  The list of writers ring absolutely no bells with me, but they seem to be younger folks involved with things I don't watch, but funny is funny.  By the way, if you see more than four writers on a regular movie with a single narrative storyline, that should be your cue to run the other way as fast as humanly possible.  I swear I saw a standee in a theater once for the Flintstones movie long before it came out and there were I believe thirteen writers listed on that damned thing.  They whittled it down to three before the movie came out, but those thirteen hacks all climbed on top and did their business all over that poor little movie before someone turned the hose on them...and I think it shows.  The directors names are a who's who of funny-bone ticklers, uh, with the exception of Brett Ratner, whose filmography reads like a Bataan Death March Trail of Tears left in celluloid, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt for this one.  Just this once.
     I'm liking the cast here as well.  A lot of people who are not known for broad comedy, which can be magic in the right doses (look at Leslie Nielsen and Robert Stack in Airplane!, or Charlie Sheen in the Hot Shots series), and some who are, like Stephen Merchant, the tall British guy who brought us the original The Office along with Ricky Gervais.  Let's hope Merchant's film career goes a little better than Ricky Gervais' has so far, eh?
     My recommendation is to perhaps have one cocktail, maybe two, and time this one so your buzz is just kicking in, and you should have a good time.  I trust you will let me know if I was wrong.

-The Trailer Snob



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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

ANY DAY NOW




Recommend: Oh God Yes!

O. M. F. G.

     Imagine my surprise when I realized that this is not a well-done Saturday Night Live spoof of an Alan Cumming movie in which a gay couple adopts an abused kid with Down Syndrome.

     Holy shit.  This has got to be the most Oscar-pandering "SBIG" (So Bad It's Good) flick I've seen drop out of someone's ass in a long time. Alan Cumming plays a gay fellow who's got a secret relationship with a lawyer and he and the lawyer end up adopting a neglected kid with Down Syndrome? This is going to be amazing.  And the worse it is the better it will be. They've even got a drug-addicted mom tossed in here.  

     This is a classic shock-and-awe, kitchen-sink Oscar grab-bag if ever there was one.  Also I'm guessing they finally come out of the closet right at the climactic scene to tell everyone they are gay and they love this kid and they want to adopt him.  Won't be a dry eye in the house (yeah, I make fun, but I will be bawling too).  And listen to me, Academy members -- if this does not win at least Best Screenplay, you are all homophobes and gay bashers, and anti....uh, Anti-Down Syndrome!  Which I guess would make you Up-Syndromers.
     In real life, Alan Cumming is bisexual, which, for men, is really just a four-syllable word for gay, and he is married to another chap which is undoubtedly why he is drawn to this story.

     Hey, relax, I got no beef with a gay couple adopting any kid in need, but this just looks so cheesy doesn't it?  It's like Kramer Vs. Kramer meets Cruising.  Cumming loooks like he may have studied Pacino's performance in Cruising for some tips.  Well, let's hope so anyway.  I may crawl out of my hobbit-hole to actually see this one.  

     It truly is a case where if it's not bad, well, good.  But if it is bad, well, GREAT!!



Also catch me on Pretentious Movie Snobs Podcast.  
Available on iTunes.


-The Trailer Snob

Sunday, November 11, 2012

GREAT EXPECTATIONS



Recommend: Yes

     I tried to find something nasty to say about this trailer but I just can't.  This is one of those great stories everyone should read.  I wanted to say "novels" but it was written in serial form and appeared in weekly sections in Dickens' 19th Century periodical All the Year Round.  At the time in England this was the closest thing they had to TV series, and it was quite a hit. I actually still remember reading it in high school and that was quite a long time ago.  Yes, it has been adapted to the screen many times, but I'd rather see this keep coming back then another stinking remake of Red Dawn, or how many times are we gonna reboot Superman and Spiderman?  If we're gonna do that then I'm glad someone keeps trying to sneak this onto our teenagers' dinner plates too.
     I have no doubt, though, that there was some 28-year-old executive in the early meetings for this one who tried to pitch Pip as a vampire and Estella as a werewolf, or perhaps the reverse.  I'm glad they are going with the real deal.  Although I thought Miss Havisham (one of the most interesting characters to ever appear in all of literature) was supposed to be a scary old broad.  They've got Helena Bonham Carter in the role this time, and I'm sorry but as far as this Miss Havisham goes, I'd like to throw her a stiff one.  I'd totally break that hip, if you know what I mean.
     Reminds me of Sunset Blvd.  I've seen that at least ten times and every time I think, "shit, what's wrong with this deal?  William Holden is a screenwriter who lives in an old mansion with a hot 50-year-old silver screen star an all he has to do is work on a script with her and give her a good rogering now and then?  Gloria Swanson is HOT in that one!  I dunno.
     And don't get me started on Miss Havisham again....I remember she's got that ancient wedding cake still sitting in that room where it was the day she was left at the altar....man, I'd hike up that stained, stinking old wedding dress and plunk her bare ass down right on top of that cake and we'd get our freaks on.  With her permission of course, I mean, you know, I'm a gentleman after all.

Look, if you're gonna keep my hand out of that cookie jar you'd have to cast someone like Kathy Bates or maybe John Lithgow.

Uh....what happened?  Where was I?

Oh yeah.  I say, keep the Charles Dickens boat afloat and go and check this one out.

Friday, November 9, 2012

WORLD WAR Z


     
     Recommend: YES

     Thank God the studios got my letter about needing more Zombie movies...it's been at least 43 minutes since one was released and now we got World War Z starring Brad Pitt on the way.  Okay, bitching over.  This is what we call in the business (yes I have done some trailer editing on small projects) as a "really good" trailer.  I don't mean to talk shop and lose anyone so my apologies.  Other words we use in the business are "cool" and "fun."  Still with me?  Okay.  This one covers all the bases: cute start....something's wrong....whoa shit!  Something is REALLY WRONG!
     Looks like they are going the standard CGI up the ass route with fast zombies BUT these fast zombies are so fast they are climbing over each other like a tidal wave of red amazon warrior ants, flowing like flesh-hungry rivers through the streets.  I like.
     Look, Brad Pitt rarely puts out a piece of crap so I'd say this one is going to be on your "to do" list when it hits theaters in 2013.  Writer Matthew Michael Carnahan has banged out a few of these political and government-intrigue flicks before with some success so we will see how he's able to flavor that type of story with the undead.  
     Go and check it out.


Wednesday, November 7, 2012

NATURE CALLS



 Patton Oswald kidnaps his scout troop from a sleepover at his douchebag brother's (Johnny Knoxville) house and takes them on a camping trip to turn them into men. Yeah, baby. There must have been a bidding war over this hot script. First off, if an effeminate pudgy single guy in his 30's wants to take your kids on a camping trip to "turn them into men", your first inclination should be to shoot him in the face, cause there's gonna be some forced anal penetration going on in one or all of those tents.

If you find out you were wrong, and he's not a child molester, you'll need to plant some child porn on his computer so the Feds have something to go on. But you won't be wrong. That being said, what the hell is this? They've got Patton Oswald, Knoxville, Rob Riggle, Patrice O'Neal in a posthumous performance, and these are the jokes we get in the trailer? Looks like this was STRICTLY an acting gig for these guys. These poor editors. I mean they are magicians but give them something to work with for shit sake. I don't blame the actors for cashing in but why just shit all over your comic legacy with an obvious turd like this? I say avoid this one like you would a drunken priest who just got kicked out of a gay bar. To quote Geena Davis from the Fly: Be afraid...be very afraid.