Monday, December 19, 2011

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS





RECOMMEND - Nope

This one looks like a very noisy version of Scooby Doo without Scooby or Velma. Velma seems to have been replaced with another hot chick.  Pretty standard for the current dead-eyed demo they are going for.  We got the hunky guy and the Shaggy-like pothead, and the other good-looking guy of mysterious ethnicity all gathered together in a strange cabin that is being watched by some high-tech villains who have some awful thing in store for them.  Like I said, I predict many loud music stings instead of real scares, lots of CG, and an R rating that probably will not include any tits or ass.  Well, hey, let me know if I am wrong.

TIM AND ERIC'S BILLION DOLLAR MOVIE


TIM AND ERIC'S BILLION DOLLAR MOVIE

RECOMMEND: uh.....yes

Part of me is afraid to recommend this mish-mosh of WTF-ness.  I got two little girls and I don't get out much these days so I don't know who the CHRIST these two guys are, but this trailer is getting a lot of hate.  I'm giving it a thumb-up, because for a god damn change here's a movie that does not appear to be a sequel or based on some comic book or some stinking video game.  Somebody's risking a lot of someone else's money on this thing and I gotta support that, baby!

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES


RECOMMEND: YEP

With all the blood rushing to my nether regions, it's difficult to comment on this one, or type, or maneuver a mouse.  That's the coolest football related teaser since The Last Boyscout.  Even the woman next to me here was getting an erection.

I don't know who the guy in the gas mask is, but he's scary, and almost as difficult to understand as Michael Caine's cockney accent, which seems to be getting stronger with each new Batman movie.  And although Christian Bale is reported to be a colossal prick, I'm on this one.