Saturday, August 6, 2011

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED





RECOMMEND: FUCK NO

God Dammit, who's responsible for this malignant ass-tumor? 20th Century Fox? Jesus. When the lights dim in the theater, they should just project a giant hand with its middle finger up for about ten seconds, and let everyone just go the fuck home right then and there. Save 90 minutes of their lives. I don't blame Jason Lee for this crap, the guy's an actor, it's a big check, I get it. I like the guy.

Look, I'm not expecting Toy Story 3 every time a kids' movie comes out, but at least give us a fucking reach-around for shit's sake. "Rules is my middle name?" "I'm the king of the world!" This is the dialog that makes the fucking trailer? Holy shit. My daughter is a little over two and I know she'd be clawing her own fucking eyes out inside of three minutes with this thing.

After this insult comes out and the parachute doesn't open and it crashes to earth, skip the DVD release and put all the prints or digital copies or whatever they have and throw them into some mass grave in Iran where they belong.

That's what this trailer is telling me.

Soon shall we know....

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